we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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