Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
