How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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