One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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