dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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