well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
