Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
