Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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