oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
