It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
