they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im on a boat
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