I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
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