i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Randomize
