Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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