Having a random hookup so left but love u
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
