So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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