is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
