He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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