remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
