Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
