hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
