She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
