This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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