I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
