i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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