My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize