I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
