i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
