I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
