She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
