Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
