i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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