He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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