So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
