Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
