do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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