Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
