Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
