Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
