I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize