Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
