I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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