therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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