So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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