Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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