Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
