I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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