You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
