Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
