i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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