you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm at about main and main street
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
