Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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