I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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