well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
