I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
