I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
