are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
