btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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